The At Home Couple is a terribly informative blog written by my good friends Elijah and his wife Veronica. Their web site overflows with helpful information about blogging and it is one of the FEW blogs that I read daily.

I really admire their blog and I ESPECIALLY admire the fact that they’re writing it and managing it together. That brings me to my topic:

If You Are The CEO Of Your Company, Then Your Spouse, Significant Other, or Life Partner Had Better Be Your COO.

That’s not to say that you have to include your husband in the DIRECT administration and operations of your endeavor, but he does need to support you, believe in you, and be willing to provide “backup”.

Starting a business is a bit like raising a child. It must complete gestation, be born, be nurtured, and be raised to maturity. Needless to say, all of this is neither easy nor an overnight task. It will encompass an incredible amount of planning and execution and if your goal is to grow your enterprise beyond a Taco Lady level, then you must be prepared to make some significant life sacrifices.

The Job Of Your Chief Operations Officer (COO)

The person that you share your life with must be ready, willing, and able to give you all the support necessary to see your business through to maturity. Please don’t misunderstand. It is not necessary to be in a relationship to succeed at entrepreneurship. It is, however, essential that your other half be completely dedicated to the cause if you are in a relationship when you begin thinking seriously about starting a business. If you and your wife are not COMPLETELY ON ONE ACCORD AND DON’T SHARE THE SAME GOALS in regards to this business then dark days most assuredly approach.

Please believe. If she wants to start a non-denominational church and you want to open an adult video store, we’re going to need to seek some counseling.

Having a home base managed by your willing spouse/COO has many indispensable advantages:

• Someone has got to keep the household business in order. Trying to get a business off the ground sucks when your electricity gets cut off because you’ve been too busy to make the payment. Ditto for water, gas, insurance, and internet.
• Someone has to take care of the kids. Your children couldn’t give a damn about your business venture. They’re still going to want to eat, stay clean, get dropped off at school, gymnastics, cheer leading, do homework, finish the science project, sit in someone’s lap, and say their prayers at night. (Substitute dogs, cats, or other dependent here where applicable)
• You’re going to need a secretary and a gopher. You can’t do everything. You WILL need help handling a thousand miniscule jobs that are no less important to getting your project off the ground. Life is incalculably easier if your COO is happy to pitch in.
• Someone will have to keep YOU alive. When you get into the deep end, you’re going to have enough 30 hour days to sideline a mule. You will need someone to feed you, administer CPR and give you blood transfusions. TRUST ME.

This Is A True Story

My lovely wife once got the notion that she was going to start a small, part time business to earn some extra money. Of course, this was right up my alley so I proceeded to give her my hard won wisdom and input on some good home based businesses that she should consider. She doesn’t have as strong of an entrepreneurial spirit as I have so I was REALLY excited for her.

Until she told me about the business she was considering…

One of my wife’s friends hosts “Adult Accessory Parties” from time to time. (Stay with me; you and I can talk about anything) She makes a few bucks per party and they’re easy. My wife had been to one and the ladies there all had fun in a playfully naughty yet innocent way. Be that as it may, this particular business I wanted NOTHING to do with. It’s not that I’m morally averse to them it’s just that I didn’t see how they could be BIG money makers. Throwing parties, providing some basic refreshments, and trying to convince your friends to turn their homes into cesspools just isn’t my thing. In addition to that, the margins seem WWWAAAYYYY too low. (If anyone out there has information to the contrary, I’d love to stand corrected if I’m wrong)

We argued back and forth about it for a week or two before she wore me down and won. She was going to host a “party”. IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS, I explained vehemently that I would have NOTHING to do with it. NOTHING.

Another week or so of phone calls, giggles, and “ooh I can’t waits” and the big day arrived. As the hour approached and the countdown commenced, I deliberately sat on my butt. My wife was rushing around trying to get the house in order, building fruit and vegetable trays, rearranging couches and chairs and unloading large, unmarked boxes from the trunk of her car.

I decided to ride a few miles on my exercise bike.

She Couldn’t Resist Involving Me

“Oh my God! I left one more box in the car! Please, Baby go get it! The girls will be here any minute and I haven’t even put my make up on yet! Please Please Please!!

I knew it. I was about a mile into my ride wearing just a pair of shorts and I was sweaty. I complained a bit just to give her a hard time but I went to grab the box out of the car anyway. What can I say?…I spoil my wife.

So I’m digging this box of sin out of the trunk and was trying to make my way back inside when I heard a car pulling into the driveway. Oh man, people are already here. I had to get inside. I didn’t even have a shirt on for Christ’s sake.

I had the box in one hand, reached out to grab the door handle and THE BOTTOM BROKE OUT OF THE BOX. It could only happen to me. All over the porch were oils, scents, things that wiggle, things with fake fur, and things that go bump in the night.

It Gets Worse

I WAS SCRAMBLING trying to get these….things back in the box when I heard “Hey Boopie!”

Oh Dear God. Only one person still calls me “Boopie”. I stood up, turned around, and there was my mother.

With my grandmother.

I was standing outside. Wearing only a pair of shorts. Dripping in sweat. Holding a big box of rubber dicks.

I have to tell you about Granny. She doesn’t DO scenes like this. My Granny wouldn’t be caught within 50 miles of a sex toy. What if Jesus decided to make His glorious, triumphant return TONIGHT and caught her in the same room as the Limited Edition 12 inch Kong? I think she was crying when she yelled for Momma to take her back home.

Why in the hell would my wife invite my mother and my grandmother to a sex toy party? If she could have harnessed ALL the power of Google, Ebay, and Nasa combined, she STILL couldn’t have come up with a good reason to have Momma and Granny here that day.

I think that was probably the single worst business decision I’ve ever witnessed.

SO MUCH FOR THAT

My wife realized that this was NOT the business for her. She didn’t make any money, someone spilled juice on the couch, and she swears that a pair of her shoes was stolen. I never had a doubt that this was NOT the business for either of us.

It was doomed from the start.

We swore after that to be on the same page from that day forward. Of course we haven’t always been but that’s another post all together.